9 dreams I had in the 9th month about 9 people I don’t talk to anymore.
- I am 28 and stuck in an elevator in a wedding dress. My wedding dress. There are 2 children stuck in there with me. They are afraid, but I hold them close and tell them a love story. Our love story. They fall asleep on the peach silk and I stroke their heads and wait to see you on the other side of the metal doors.
- In this one, I am cotton candy. You kiss me and say, “sugar, you’re falling apart.” I say, baby, it’s okay. Melting isn’t such a bad way to go when I’m with you.
- I open my mouth to fire bullets but out falls syrup. My harsh words drip down my chin like honey. Tell you I hate you, tell you’re toxic, tell you you’re bad like 4-packs-a-day-bad; but all you can hear is drip, drip, drip. Even in my dreams, I can not hurt you.
- We’re slow dancing at dawn near a pond to soft music. There are doves all around us and I understand heaven, finally. And then the song becomes heavy and the sky turns dark and the birds transform into bats. But I don’t notice your claws until it’s too late.
- You said I got you hooked, you said I got you wrapped around my finger, you said you didn’t understand how that could ever be a bad thing. But baby, can’t you see? when I fall down from the clouds, I drag you right down with me.
- I dreamt once that the world was covered in crickets and snakes. Your mother and I are the last ones alive. She tells me you really did care. She tells me I really was your best friend. She tells me you’re sorry we aren’t friends anymore.
- Drake and I are sitting on the tip of the iceberg that broke the titanic. He asks me if part of me took AP psychology because I’m still trying to figure out ways to help you. I can’t look him the eye.
- I’m on a spaceship bound for some unknown planet. I laugh. Little tin girl in a little tin vessel bound for a little tin planet. Nobody asks why I signed up for this mission. And I never have to tell them that I’m still trying to put some space between us.
- You leave me in the middle of some fancy restaurant and I drop my glass of wine. You leave me on the top of a Ferris wheel and I want to jump off. You leave me at the gates of the Taj Mahal and even a damn tourist asks me if i am lost. You leave me in all my dreams and I wake up screaming. Every goddamn time.